High school students are going so far as to change schools due to the rampant running of the rumor mill that only ceases only when the subject of choice has fled in tears after months or years of teasing. My 6th grade daughter called me in the middle of the night while at a birthday sleepover in tears because several of the other girls were insulting her for not being as developed or "risque" as they were. They're 11 years old!!! And I know it must have been bad because she has 3 older brothers and sisters who fulfill their duties of sibling rivalry to the Nth degree. She's tough, but not immune.
Even in elementary schools I've witnessed children trip other students and then laugh at their victims humiliation in front of an entire cafeteria of their peers. All I can think of when I see this type of behavior is that his poor child, who finds attention through the destruction of others, must have a home life that just tears them down. They are either witnessing or are the recipient of bullying among their own family. To even think any parent would allow it to happen in their home among children or are the perpetrator themselves makes me sick.
I have a child that deserves to have his butt whooped from time to time, but that doesn't mean I bully him all the time. I feel like I'm constantly trying to build all of my children up to heights that far exceed bullying, so they don't fall victim to it. So they are not just able but willing to step up for others who can't stand up for themselves. Both my husband and I feel this is something they'll need as adults in today's world.
Unfortunately, NOT every home has an environment conducive to building such skills. I'm blessed to have a husband who's ideas about responsibility, ownership, consequences and support are in line with mine, but that isn't always the case. Many times, there are addictions or other circumstances that plague mom and/or dad, which inhibit their ability to promote a child's talents and skills. Regardless, I firmly believe building strong children starts at home, with the example parents set. Children don't just wake up one day and know how to be a bully. They've seen it somewhere.
From the Journal of Adolescent Health,
School Bullying Among Adolescents in the United States: Physical, Verbal, Relational, and Cyber
I found there are 4 main types of bullying:- Verbal - Includes name calling and teasing
- Relational (Social) - Here's where that rumor mill comes into play. Also includes ostracizing other kids from participating in groups or events, etc...
- Physical - The more visible bullying like hitting, kicking, tripping, pushing and the like.
- Cyber Bullying - This extends from texting rude, insulting or threatening messages to emails, to Instant Message Platforms and more recently social media sites like Facebook, My Space and Twitter. Here, pictures and rumors can hit viral numbers with a click of Like button. Obviously, the advances in technology have made this type of bullying far more available.
So what can you do? How as parents or friends can you help those who are being bullied? It's a huge risk stepping up for a friend who's being bullied because we may ourselves receive the wrath of the bully. As a parent I tell my kids that standing up for others is the right thing to do, just not to the degree of physical aggression or retaliation. I've tried to help them learn different steps they can take such as talking privately with their friend and offering emotional support. They can also
tell a parent, teacher or other adult they trust.
Check out www.stopbullying.gov/index.html to learn ways to talk to your kids about bullying and how you can deal with it together.
~~~If you don't see a silver lining...make one~~~
