So far 2014 has been one of the hardest years of my life. That's not to say there hasn't been good times worth remembering but let's be honest, any time you lose people you love and care about, well it can overshadow some of life's joys. In a period of 8 months (Sept.- now) I've lost 5 family members and one amazing friend. In all my life I've only ever had to say goodbye to 3 of my grandparents and the last one was almost 3 years ago. So you can imagine the emotional toll it takes on a person to lose 5 times that amount in such a short period of time.
I've wanted to blog about the importance of remembering those we've loved and lost but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I managed in other ways but it certainly hasn't been easy. And sometimes, when you least expect it, a song or situation will trigger a memory so strong it knocks the wind right out of you and it's all you can do not to curl into the fetal position and give in to your ugly cry (and yes, everyone has an ugly cry).
Case in point: Last night I had the wonderful privilege to coordinate the marriage of a sweet friend to the man of her dreams. My mom, being ordained, married the two in a most moving ceremony. The venue was full to the brim of close friends and family among beautiful peacock-themed decor and there was plenty to keep me busy. Making sure the vendors had what they needed and were doing what they were supposed to, ensuring the bar was in good shape and keeping the bride and groom oblivious to any problematic situations. But, every 30 minutes or so I would sit at my full plate of food and pick at it while overseeing the excitement. One such time was during the parent dances and the bride had just stepped into the arms of her father. The song started, I Loved Her First by Heartland and it took me right back to my own wedding day...to the memories of some very important Dad's in my life...and I could not hold back the tears.
Part of why this is so poignant is because out of the 5 family members I've lost, 3 of them were fathers to me. My former step-dad David Woodhouse, who passed from cancer in September, my Father-in-law Larry Graham went home in February due to complications from Alzheimer's and lastly, my daddy, Ray McCrary Jr. in May, due to advanced Alzheimer's.
While I managed to keep the ugly cry from rearing it's ugly head at the wedding, my heart was still heavy. However, I also experienced joy because I realized that Rachel, the bride, would now also have that memory to hold onto for the rest of her life. And THAT is why I do what I do!
Congratulations to the new Mr. and Mrs. Colton Mitchell!!! May you see many years of happiness!!!!
It's moments like these that allow the sorrow to fade into a dull ache as opposed to the throbbing pulse consistently pounding you from the inside. Those that have left us behind on this out of control spinning rock will never truly be gone because they live in our hearts and memories.
My Uncle John passed away in April and my Great Great Aunt Dot passed away in May the day after my father died. I didn't know them well or in Aunt Dot's case, at all, but my mother was very close to Aunt Dot and she felt an even heavier loss having just spent the previous 3 days at my Dad's bedside with my sisters and I (and mind you they've been divorced for the better part of 30 years). I love my mother dearly and although I didn't know Aunt Dot personally, I could feel through my mother's grief how wonderful a person Aunt Dot was.
Then finally, days before my Uncle John passed away, a co-worker and good friend of mine fell deathly ill very suddenly and lost her battle to a pulmonary embolism at the young age of 29. No one knows why it happened....it just did...and our worlds were rocked yet again. Elizabeth Ann Spillers was an incredible, caring person with a fabulous dry sense of humor who was loved by many people. We shared some fun times at work and at play and she had immediately found a place in my heart. I have your picture on my desk and I say hello to you every morning I come to work. And every time I see pictures of your nieces (especially Audrey), I see you. I will never forget.
Share some memories of those who you've loved and lost. It's good for the soul.
No comments:
Post a Comment